A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
