No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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