I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
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