Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
sarcasm needs its own font
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize