I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
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