mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Randomize