i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Randomize
