you guys were way drunker than both of me
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
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i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize