If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
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