I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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