Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize