The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
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He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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