Texts From Last Night

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  (510): View more from California

  my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic

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  (510): my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic http://tfl.nu/11wq
  Replies (6) Good night (865) Bad night (2142) Order T-Shirt
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  (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him

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  (321): even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him http://tfl.nu/7qwv
  Replies (19) Good night (1120) Bad night (4104) Order T-Shirt
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  We need to start having sex underwater more often.

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  (570): We need to start having sex underwater more often. http://tfl.nu/04ms
  Replies (19) Good night (5758) Bad night (563) Order T-Shirt
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year

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  (203): i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year http://tfl.nu/ku2e
  Replies (58) Good night (8041) Bad night (1745) Order T-Shirt
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  (337): View more from Louisiana

  Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.

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  (337): Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm. http://tfl.nu/whuj
  Replies (39) Good night (7284) Bad night (978) Order T-Shirt
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  (818): View more from California

  All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on

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  (818): All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on http://tfl.nu/912s
  Replies (10) Good night (3343) Bad night (1321) Order T-Shirt
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.

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  (919): we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni. http://tfl.nu/1ccz
  Replies (3) Good night (3472) Bad night (1337) Order T-Shirt
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  (225): View more from Louisiana

  But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.

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  (225): But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy. http://tfl.nu/2w7g
  Replies (2) Good night (811) Bad night (2063) Order T-Shirt
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?

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  (770): Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning? http://tfl.nu/sjpg
  Replies (5) Good night (2053) Bad night (924) Order T-Shirt
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.

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  (+44): I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs. http://tfl.nu/5p7v
  Replies (7) Good night (1272) Bad night (359) Order T-Shirt
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  (307): View more from Wyoming

  We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.

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  (307): We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger. http://tfl.nu/ajz2
  Replies (6) Good night (1372) Bad night (321)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.

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  (919): I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink. http://tfl.nu/51us
  Replies (9) Good night (529) Bad night (1145) Order T-Shirt
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store

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  (678): My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store http://tfl.nu/soqr
  Replies (7) Good night (884) Bad night (358) Order T-Shirt
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.

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  (443): Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude. http://tfl.nu/yo4l
  Replies (3) Good night (464) Bad night (872) Order T-Shirt
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?

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  (814): Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids? http://tfl.nu/tder
  Replies (3) Good night (515) Bad night (235) Order T-Shirt

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