I just threw up on my dentist
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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