So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Randomize
