yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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