I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
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