I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize