Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Randomize
