and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Who died my cat blue again?
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
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