Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Randomize
