my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Randomize
