Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
