Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
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