I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Randomize
