Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
Randomize
