if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
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