so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
