You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
