JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
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