There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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