Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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