My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Randomize
