Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
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i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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