Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
