I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
