Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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