Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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