PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
