Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
