It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize