making cat noises will not fix the situation.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
