Who wears a wallet chain?!
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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