I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
