HIV tests are more positive than that guy
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize