Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
