I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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