lets start a swedish sibling band together
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize