Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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