none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
