I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
