I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
