I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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