she kept yelling 'call me bella'
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
