im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
is wine microwaveable?
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
