): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
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He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
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