We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
