I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Randomize
