so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I just googled if crying burns calories
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Randomize
