i love accidental penises.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.