when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.