Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
